There is this Saturn commercial in which some woman makes a connection between 'her man' and her Saturn (saturn being a subset of GM auto, duh). So I guess this guy is a 'steady as he goes' sorta fellow, probably always there when you need OR want him. Just a general good guy, what I have come to call a boy scout (I refer you to Jack Ryan). And I guess she enjoys this reliability, not merely in her car but in 'her man' as well.

As soon as I saw this I realized that I am most definitely a Saturn. I, contrary to the fictional Saturn spokesperson, do not think being a saturn man is a good thing. It is the worst possible label I could get (I realize I labelled myself, but I think we can agree to it's valid). It's so fucking vanilla. Yeah I'm there when you need, which is nice. But I'm also there when you want me---> no excitement, no intrigue. I'm probably there when you don't want me there too, which, I know, is really annoying. That's only because I'm a saturn. I can't distinguish between your needs, wants and dislikes. To be reliable I can't do anything else.

Of course, no real woman, or at least none my age, want a fucking saturn. Why would she? They're dull, and redundant, and exhaustively reliable, and SLOW! Woman only say they want them...most don't even continue this lie anymore...

To resolve my saturn-ness I'm going to avoid be reliable in the future. Don't get me wrong; I will always be there when someone needs me. But as far as someone wanting me, I'll try not to be there. I don't think this will reduce my saturn qualities. But it will make me less annoying, and I think everyone will appreciate that. And I think this may give me a little more intrigue, a little more mystery, and that will definitely shake things up a bit.

If nothing else it will be a fun adventure to try being more elusive. You can thank me later for being less annoying. (you're welcome)