I just saw Amelie (accent mark omitted) with the San Diego half of the the goodkids. It was interesting. Very artistically shot and whatnot and so forth. Decent characters with puncy dialouge that came off despite the language gap. The theme, eh whatever. I feel the pain of being unable to confront one's "desires." But what the fuck I would love to have desires to confront. I just walk around aimlessly looking for something to strive for. I have no concrete desires or goals. No career I can't wait to pursue. No accomplishments I long to achieve. No young woman I love. I want all of those things. And most of all I'd love to love something, some individual entity, no just an idea like progress or an experience like surfing/beach. Yeah loving something is necessary.

I realized that the peace corps is my only way out of North America. In two years, with any luck, I'll be 21, $30,000 in debt (3 stacks of high society), no real work experience or anything particularly special, and most notably I'll be the proud owner of a USELESS, UNMARKETABLE history degree. There is no way I can just take off. I could easily just blow off my loans for a while and let the interest rack up. While this possibility is tantalizing, it would leave me beyond broke.
1) No one is willing to pay for my education besides me.
2)Education is necessary, so I will have to accept the debt burden.
3)Debt precludes me from few things, but one of them is unfunded travelling for any decent period of time. It also precludes me from a good professional degree. But my debt will definitely preclude me from investing before oh lets say 28...guess who's slipping down the back side of the splitting middle-class??? ME!
4)The best way to experience the world in the way I want to experience without any money is the Peace Corps. If you disagree I'd be totally willing to accpet your money for my education fund.