Damn. I just wrote some good stuff. Now it's gone. Oh well.

Acalculia is a form of aphasia characterized by the inability to perform mathematical calculations.

What an awesome word.

Well, of course, my remark about pretedning to change was a joke. I realize the ramifications of lying. I'm definitely willing to accept them, but that is another issue entirely...

I'm sure Darcy's 'change' is sincere. However, there is definitely the implication that Darcy changes because, in at least some small part, due to the existence of Elizabeth. She doesn't ask him to change. But her mere existence (her beauty and perfection and whatever) force Darcy to realize his shortcomings. THIS is the ultimate female fantasy. The POWER of Elizabeth forces Darcy to change hiself. I guess he did this not simply to be with her, but because her awesomeness he knows he needs to change. Darcy corrects himself because of the mere existence of this woman, and that is the fantasy.

Note: Darcy and the whole set of P&P characters do not exist in the tanglible world. They exist in the realm of imagination where marriage does not lead directly to divorce. A realm of the imagination that forgets that 99.9% of women don't find a Darcy, and the other 0.1% divorces him. And I think we all take this way too seriously. I suggest you watch Wayne's World---> its good stuff.

ps: Does the world, does logic, provide us any reason to think we are inclined to be Liz or Darcy?

pps: I have been honest with myself AND the rest of the world for awhile.

Fini

Women are attracted to men on a purely arbitrary basis. There is no set criteria that women follow to discern the good from the bad. I'm sure most of you think this is false, but it's true (take it up with me when I'm not busy procrastinating). So I should be arbitrary too.







You know what is so fascinating to women about Mr. Darcy and P & P? It's that Darcy fufills their ultimate fantasy. It's not that he's mysterious or reserved or wealthy, well maybe it's a little-bit of those things. But what really gets girls is the Darcy CHANGES because of this women, Elizabeth. He fucking changes. That is the key. This guy is changed because of the existence of Elizabeth. His attributes before and after the change are negligible. What matters is that he changed. My fellow lonley lads, that is the key--changing. And may I humbley comment to all the lonley ladies out there: I'm not going to change, but if you'd like me to appear as if I've changed I'll try and oblige you.

I think I am a Likely Lad and I'm sure what has happened to our dream, you know?

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. I say that to myself all the time, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I think I've overused it, like my Darkness cd. Now that SS quote is just a random assembledge of syllables and noises, like my Darkness cd. Um, what is my point??? AH. Despite my repetition of this little maxim I haven't been gathering any rosebuds at all. I am 19 years, 29 days old and I have no rosebuds. Of course I still have plenty of time to gather plenty of rosebuds. However, my chance to gather certain rosebuds is completely gone. And that makes me a little sad, more than a little. For clarification I do not strictly mean girls as rosebuds. I haven't gathered any real 'oppurtunities'. Of course I'm most annoyed about not gathering any rosebuds in the shape of a lovely young woman. But I'm most saddened that I haven't used my potential to accomplish anything. My brother always talks about unconverted potential energy, and that is exactly what I have. Unconverted potential energy. How fucking-digustingly poignant.

I think I've gone mad, I'm listening to Beulah now.