This is one of those times when I opened up notepad simply because I feel I should type something. So I guess it doesn't matter what I actually type. Of course, it never matters what I type, but with this post that is particularly true. So we shall begin on Matt's Mystical, Magical, Magestic, Mysterious Meanderings.

Where have all the great politicians gone? I realize that settling for Bush is not a big deal since there have been (wait for it) worse presidents in American history. I mean Hoover, of course, and definitely anyone after Lincoln and before T.R. (that includes that long lost relative of Shadow Van Something--US Grant). BUUUT during these eras with horrible presidents we usually had great leadership in other venues of politics. The depravity of White House economic ignorance through the 1870s and 1890s depression gave rise to the labor unions. Now keep in mind, these were really fucking bad ass labor unions. They were not relegated to some obscure role in the weak democratic party. No, no my friend. These labor unions ruled the world. This time period of shitty presidents also gave rise to the populist movement, which, in my opinion, revolutionized the Democratic party. So, I repeat, where have all the great politicians gone?

There's this thing that worries me. Bad presidents have always presided over generations that lived horriffic lives. Perhaps I'm jumping the gun in that we've only had one bad president, but I'm still worried. To be alive following 'reconstruction' was to be in pain. Yeah, no that I write this out it seems rather alarmist of me.

Does anyone else notice 1984 starting to take shape. The reduction of civil liberties are the most notable example of the Bush's attempt to create an Orwellian state. But the part that worries me most is that our country is engaged in constant warfare. I realize that one could argue we've been in constant warfare since 1941. However, the past conflicts did not pile on top of eachother like they do know. 15 years separated Korea and Vietnam, another 20 before Iraq I. But now we have 10,000+ soldiers in mulitple theaters for sustained offenses. And there is no reason to assume this will stop. And I'm not telling you anything you don't know. Even the most hawkish person will agree with these facts, and they will justify these facts. They'll say something like, "The current set of circumstances allows us no choice but to engage in these conflicts." Perhaps the hawk will add, "To win these battles we must win the peace." WIN THE PEACE. Everyone admits that's the goal. We must make war to facilitate the peace, and, because of the current circumstances, these 'wars' must take time. That REEKS of 'war is peace'!!! To enable peace we must have sustained periods of fighting. We are only 'at peace' with the middle east if we are engaged in some form of warfare. WAR IS PEACE! I know this doesn't make sense right now but thats because I haven't surfed in a week. But trust me. War and peace are now tautological. We've created a world where WAR IS PEACE. Notice I say 'we' (not bush) because we have enabled. Why have we enabled it??? Because IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH! (more on that in a future post)...

I'm definitely going to refine this over the next few days/weeks/months in hopes that I start making sense. But in the meantime I urge you to look out for the myriad of ways our world is making the following contradictions somehow, almost magically, true: FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH, WAR IS PEACE....

STOP, now, whats that sound
everybody look whats going down

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Finding out true love is blind.

No, not really. That's a lie, but youre little asain friend, she can come if she wants.

I need something to do. You're right in thinking that I'm always in need of something to do as I live such a linear life. But today it is particularly true. I got myself so worked up over those fucking apps, but now that is in God's hands (you better come through). I can't surf because BOTH boards are out of commission. I really don't have much to do school work-wise. Basically, I ranked EVERYTHING below finishing my application, so now that it's done I don't know what to do with myself. Normally I'd just painstakingly peruse pitchforkmedia and cdnow and amazon, BUT I don't have any headphones and my speakers are sorta not working. I NEED MORE MUSIC. That is not a hyperbole. My body needs more music. I really don't have many cd's, and my computer's music collection was terminated a few months after an unfortunate incident. So, you people, whoever you may be, I ask you for music. You don't have to even know me. I'm sure you can figure out my screen name from the url. Just IM me and give me some good musical tips. And if you do know me some burned CDs would be great christmas gifts. I say this not because I'm fishing for gifts, because I most definitely am not fishing for gifts. In fact, it'd be better if you didn't buy me anything so I can justify not buying you anything. But if you're one of those damn people who insist on exchanging gifts that a burned cd would be fantastic. Anything really. Any genre, any time period, any artists, whatever the fuck you would like. Here are a few things that are off limits: Fiery Furnaces, Le Tigre, The Darkness, The Killers, and that's about it. Half of those I detest and I own sufficient music from the other half.

So yeah I'm really regreting telling people to give me a gift. It comes off very cocky: Yeah I'm so confident not only do I know people want to buy me things. It's also very condescending: Well they love me enough to get me a gift but theyre to stupid to know what to get me so ill tell them. Those facts notwithstanding I didn't delete the 'suggestion'. Why? Because I guess I'm hard to 'shop' for so I'm cutting down the search. Also, I HATE the idea that people spend money on me. I really dislike that idea for some reason. I'd prefer a friend of mine spend money on a real person or on themselves or their education. So yeah, just burn a cd. Be daring.

Yeah I'm bored so I shall continue on this magical mystery tour of my madness. I need to go surfing. I'm jonesin' man. I'm not quite sure what that means but I think it holds true. Yeah when I don't surf bad things start to happen. I start to ask stupid questions. Mostly to girls. Mostly to girls who I shouldn't even be bothering with. I need a serious prospect like Bush needs a new doctrine.

Blogger has really sucked lately. I've lost two posts within the past few days. Don't worry. It wasn't anything new, just a lot of the 'oh poor me, feel sorry for me, tell me i'm great, man life sucks, im great, why doesnt the world like me' sorta thing. So it's better that those posts were lost.

Well my application is done. The essays aren't nearly as good as I would of liked, but there are decent enough. (Sadaf's are really good). Anyways, I was shaking as I submitted it. I don't shake. I'm not that sorta person (I'm the sorta person who falls into Heminingway brevity). So feeling really nervous was a fun sensation. I hope it happens again soon.

This is an algamation of nonsense, but I will continue anyway. I guess I got myself too worked up about this whole 'application' thing. I mean 'my future,' who the fuck cares? If i don't get in anywhere it will definitely be my fault and I'll just have to face a different future than I had imagined. At the very worst I'll just have to enlist. That wouldn't be so bad. But that's unlikely; I figure there is a 2 percent probability of that happening. But the math on that stat is very speculative. I really want to know now. Correction: I REALLY WANT TO KNOW RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not a fan of myself when I'm like this. My laid-back, hang loose, so cal surfer, barefoot cowboy attitude is really getting tarnished by my anxiety about 'getting in'. It's not fun to be this 'verklempt' (that's yiddish bitch). I don't know how all you uptight kids can handle all this nonsense. It's making me lose weight at a dangerous pace. And I have 6 months to think about all the possibilities. 6 months is a long damn time. That's like 1/40th of my existence. 182 days, 4368 hours, 262080 minutes, 15724800 seconds. That is a long time.