Yeah I'm going to point out my faults again. blahblahblah. No one reads this so I don't give a fuck...

I think a am a 'safe' guy. I am the type of guy that isn't going to cheat on you, isn't going to steal money from you, isn't going to go gay on you. I'm probably going to love you for as long as you love me, and I'm not going to get side-tracked by the hot girl who just walked by. What I lack in exictement factor I make up in dependability. I don't think anyone can claim I'm not the safe guy because there is no way I'm the unsafe guy.

The problem is that nobody wants the safe guy. Safe guy is tauntamount to boring guy. Unsafe guy is more attractive, more charming, more everything. I am constancy personified, an entirely boring quality. So when the fuck are women going to realize that 'safe' guys rock too. Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone.

I have a few questions for the collective and the universe as a whole:

1) Why do most people think that we are closer to ascertaining all the knowledge available to us?
I dont know why this pisses me off so much, but it does. Knowlege is not something that can be quantified as in we have 80% of all possible knowledge. That's absolute crap. Knowlege is infinite. Humanity is finite. There is no possible way we can ever reach anywhere near perfect knowledge because infinity is inaccessible you retard. If you subtract 1,000,000 from an infinite quantity, guess what, you still have an infinite quantity. That is why we aren't close to total knowledge, and we never will be. The fundamental assumption of our generation is that we (we = people of the 2nd of the 20th century) have very few mistakes in our knowledge of the universe and all things contained within the universe. This is, of course, hideously wrong and a great example of modern hubris. We are no less ignorant than the ancient Mesopotamians who thought that the world ended at the Jordan River. We just find better and more intresting ways of being ignorant. Conclusion: I have no doubts that 250 years from now students everywhere will be rolling their eyes when they think of the primitive mind of generation babyboom-y.

2) Why do people who get drunk/high expect my sympathy?
What the fuck man? It's your problem. You know that's what happens. Fuck, you wanted it to happen. That's probably why you mixed drinks or knowingly drank too much. 'Ahhhh duuude I wanna get soooo fucked up'.... Well man you are, how's it feel dumb ass? A hangover is the result of 'being soooo fucked up'. So you can't really complain can you. But most of all you can't complain to me. I wouldn't complain to you. Deal with it, biotch. You can't expect me to justify any of your actions when you were drunk because you choose to get drunk. You choose this path. So dealing with it and stop wasting my minutes.

to do list:
-fix my feet. they're cut up from surfing and it hurts when i run (attempt to run)
-get a job (yeah yeah yeah)
-fix my fubar computer
-wash cars
-figure out my research topic for arthistory
-start on my uc applications
-figure out some intresting things to do
-read
-buy some new clothes
-get some plans for next summer (lifeguard,school,visitrupert,something)
-start yoga (i think it will be great for 'clearing my mind')
-american idiot

The problem with surfing is that it's not really a night-time sport.

I think my extreme self-loathing has successfully warded off any potential readers I had. So I'll see just how much self-deprecation I can get in just one post.

Sssssooooooo, I've still been thinking quite a bit. Despite my best efforts with reading/surfing/driving. My thinking is even starting to get in the way of my school work, which is unacceptable.

I've been thinking about my doomed sexuality. It's hard to accept that conclusion. I mean I really think I'm a fucking awesome person, not necessarily more fucking awesome than anyone else just as fucking awesome as most. But I don't think anyone really notices that. Well, at least not people that don't know me. That sucks. People should really notice. People say I give off insecurity vibes and people can sense that. These insecurity vibes lead them to the opinion that I'm not all that cool of a person. Sounds like bullshit, but I suppose its possible. Anyway, long story short = some people are arbitrarily liked (liked without any concrete reasoning), on the other hand I am arbitrarily disliked (disliked without any concrete reasoning). sucks

I have an itch to just hop in my car and drive somewhere. An itch is an understatement. It's more of an undying, unmitigated, unparalleled instinct to get the fuck away from here. I think it's because summer is ending (over). I'm like a bird being called south. That current on sunday was telling. The ocean current was pulling south VERY quickly. So I think my maat is urging me south, to where its warm and beautiful.

Unfortunately, I don't think going south is practical. Especially since I only plan on getting in my car and driving for a while in one direction without reaching any real destination. Mexico could create some problems, espeically since I don't speak spanish. So I guess north or east, maybe northeast. Whatever, I'll figure it out tomorrow in astronomy.

I know nearly every word on here is centered around what's wrong with me/my life. Well I should probably stop that. Definitely should. I should realize that I can't reason out everything, nor should I try. I shouldn't try to explain the unexplainable. But I have a natural urge to explain the unexplainable, all the freaking time. So what should I do when I get this urge?

Surfing works pretty well. But I can only surf so much, and surfing can create some other problems. Driving seems to be a good outlet too. But it can be expensive. Despite the down sides surfing/driving are good outlets, but I still need some more.

I think reading would be really good. But the books my mom bought me a while ago are not holding my attention. I need something really captivating to steer my mind away from whatever unexplainable issue I'm stuck on that day. So if you have some suggestions of good books please tell me, please (don't be afraid my friend).

I really think reading is the key. I love reading, but only after I get into it. So once I get past that hump in the beginning I'm really into the book.

Note: I really need a job too. But I've got a lot of work for tomorrow, so I'll figure that out later.