Yeah I didn't quit my job. Quitting my job is what I meant by saying would no longer be employed, I meant employed at this current job. I should have quit. But I'm a pussy and a sucker for ego-boosts.

It is spring break though, and it's march madness. That doesn't offer too much promise since my picks aren't doing too well, but it's still lots o' fun.

Spring break looks like its going to be very raining. That sorta kills my plans for a triumphant return to surfing, but that wasn't going to happen anyway.

Sleep is my only friend. Could you tap my skull with a hard object(s)?

VIDEO IDEASSSSS PLEASE:

suggestion from cousin: Give the regents what they want: black face!

Tomorrow could be my last day of employment for a while, unlikely but possible.

I tend to be getting some resistance to the Peace Corps idea/plan/hope/whatever. I guess that's to be expected. I guess I have got a lot of overly-idealistic "plans." A Phd, Peace Corps, new journalism, professional writing, career in the academy, living abroad, backpacking and many many more. Nothing wrong with any of these "plans" as far as I'm concerned. I realize that they are only "plans," meaning that they're great ideas, visions of the future that may or may not happen. And anything that's idealistic usually fizzles out since the forces of capitalism are so omipresent and omipotent. Sometimes I can feel capitalism affecting my decision making. My obsession for material wealth and lust for resources hides in the corners of my mind. So, perhaps, my idealistic plans will only become reality if my romantic, curious mind is able to defeat the invasion of greed. I'm told this battle, a battle between generosity and materialism, idealism and realism, good and evil, will be waged sometime in my mid-20s.

It's really odd that I have a choice between wealth and squalor. I could easily choose to take the lsat, go to a decent law school, find a decent job, and be making 120k at 25 and 500k at 35. That whole future and even those $$$ values are somewhat independent of my ability. My career in law would be entirely dependent on dedication to the goal of creating wealth for clients, which would create wealth for my partners. If I achieved this--being 'liked' by the partners--the would make me a partner. At that level, which I could reach at about 35, I would be entering 1mil$ a year. This little path is true for EVERYONE. You too, sitting at your desk, could be making 7 figures in 15 years. You're grades aren't even pivitol. Decent grades are necessary, but only sorta necessary. You too can be on your path to the top 1% of wealth in the WORLD. The only decision is how much of yourself are you willing to offer up to your career, AND which career are you offering yourself to????

This question tantalizes me. I can never get it out of my head. My future is entirely in my hands. There are many restrictions that I was born into and many more that I have created myself. But the restrictions on my and future are very minimal, practically non-existent. The tough one's are only in your mind, and those can easily be overcome. If you disagree I can suggest various way self-imposed restrictions can be conquered.

It will be very interesting to see where everyone is on the idealist-to-capitalist spectrum once we all get to the mid-20s benchmark. I'm sure I won't be a unapologetic capitalist in 5 years, but I don't see myself as a raving idealist either. It will certainly be interesting. I apologize if this post has a very "Immatt,Imfantastic,andIhaveunlimitedpossibilites" tone. The intent was to demonstrate that everyone was has unlimited possibilites, ego-flexing was only a latent function of my thesis.

fickle women.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050315/ap_on_re_us/gay_marriage

I LOOOOOVE this time of year, it's MARCH MADNESS. I shall be aware of the Ides of March, but thursday is St Patricks Day and I have a taste for cabbage and lamb chops. In Chicago they die the river green, that is very cool.



You fool. When the fall is all that is left it matters a great deal.

talk to me.

There's this one little week between me and relaxation. I miss sleeping in. I miss how the world is on a weekday morning. I know spring break seems like it'll be great looking at it from this perspective, but I bet it will be entirely forgettable. I'll sleep in, eat a lot, surf a little, walk a little, drive a lot, read a little, listen a lot, and eat a lot. Those are all beautiful activities, but nothing life-changing/affirming. I guess my life doesn't need to be changed anytime soon, some affirmation would be nice, but unnecessary.

pitch and yaw and spin and roll and drag and lift

I was watching Reality Bites the other day and it struck me that Hawke's character is portrayed a lot like Jeff Buckley. Maybe it's just the two were sorta around the same time period, or that I was just listening to Grace, or that Hawke is wearing the same shirt in EXACTLY the same way as Buckley does in the inside cover to Grace. I don't know, nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about. Maybe Ethan Hawke the man reminds me of Buckley. They sorta look the same (a little bit) and they've both got that artist-lost-in-a-thought thing. I think it's just that I really connect with both of them and sorta model myself after them, more than sorta.

That paragraph was really sad: 1) it was poorly written; 2) I kept referring to Buckley in the present eventhough he died in 1997; 3) I said I model myself after an actor and a musician