Everything is kinda getting dull for me. I'm sure that's mostly because of my sloth-like existence over the past 2 weeks, but that doesn't take away from the dull-ness. And it's not just the repitition of the same activities and the total lack of incentive to do anything but sleep, eat, breathe, no, not just that. I feel my intellect withering away into nothingness. When I am operating at peak performance I am a machine. I am a slave to logic and the logical pursuit of progression. Very few things can impede my march towards the improved self (girls, a good meal, that song I can't stop wanting to hear). Well yeah. Winter break has killed my good habits (not that I stick to them that closely). I guess an underperforming quarter (grade wise), a very disappointing sports season all-around, and the slow but inevitable death of my self-confidence has helped kill my habitual pursuits too. But whatever. Maybe this time of from being me will give me an energy boost. But I need to study French, badly. I need to figure out which direction in history I should go. I need to both open up so I can see the whole more clearly while specifically focusing on certain points of interest--a seemingly contradictory task. I still want to be better. I still want the perfect body/soul. I still want to read basically every book ever written (minus The DaVinci Code, if you're a fan stop reading and commit suicide for the good of humanity [a tad harsh, but necessary for, obviously, the good of humanity]). This is a damn long paragraph.


oh music music music...who else hates emotions?

Merry Christmas to believers and non-believers alike, I guess it's technically boxing day now but whatever. So only New Year's left before this interesting little trip through holidays ends. Some one told me today that how you spend New Year's Eve is a microcosm of how you'll spend the rest of the year. It's not my style to consider such illogical notions like that one. Well, I don't really have a style, but you know, if i did it wouldn't include things like that. Though for whatever reason boring reason it gives me pause.



Being the holder of unpopular beliefs...
Examples:
causation...no uncaused events meaning no free will (i suppose there are uncaused events at the atomic level (electron placement at what not), but, not that I know ANYTHING because I am JUST a history major, but I'm pretty sure they'll come up with a model that will explain that whole deal. I mean, why would there be no pattern? They whole thing is very shady.)
no God, maybe a god. still unlikely and definitely not benevolent.
no death penalty, but that still doesn't really matter...we have bigger fish to fry
lean heavy on individual rights, and state rights with minor but well-debated exceptions
debate is better than anything
progress is our duty, stasis is our lazy preference
2nd amendment does not guarantee the right to own an automatic weapon
supporting building a fence at the border and voting down foreign ops money is a contradiction PICK ONE
Saddam was a bad dude. It's great he's gone, but we could have done it a lot better. There were clearly mistakes made by the admin, and when mistakes are made that lead to deaths (Iraq, Katrina) you don't get a second chance.
civil liberties are sacrosanct, except for automatic weapons
PROGRESS IS EVERYTHING
im really tired
ignorance is the rule, wisdom is the fun exception
our country is ruled by oil interests
the new constitution is based on preventing regulation
it is in the public's interest for the state to interfere with certain corporations is there is too much centralization/monopolization of a certain good/service...OIL
god i dont care anymore
not that many of these are unpopular
im really tired
i feel like the retarded version of eec
yo
you
i love what america could be
what it is disgusts me
yeah its no better anywhere else
yeah im suggesting quasi-socialism
but europeans and asians have a higher quality of life
i want a higher quality of life for americans
we ARE stupid, but we can overcome it
we need to focus on the big stuff
we need to see ourselves as a voice among nations
we should guide the world by example not force
walk/speak softly, carry a big stick (though we could use to spend a little less on that stick)
4% of the world's population doesn't need to spend 50% of its defense dollars
anyone else tired, bc i am
but im on a roll
we need a culture change
i cant say we should think about tomorrow more, or that we shouldnt look to the past as much
we, in general, need to get less retarded
weve been listening to the black eyed peas too much
anyway its 308, when did i start this
the nexus between your soul's thirst for freedom and your mind's search for justice is where one finds the true constitution
it is not simply a document, it is not simply words
america is not limited to or by its brevity
the constitution has a soul, probably the ghost of tj
anyway we have to look for amendment 1.237 and amendment 7 3/8
its not just the words on the page
because america isnt the words on the page
its certainly not the red, white and blue
america is the fluid set of ideals meant to find a resolution between the two sometimes contradictory goals of society: freedom, justice
its not just the words on the page
its the struggle between these two rights and many others
its not just the words
america is great because there is ebb and flow (too little flow but whatever)
we can be great or at least better
we have to open our eyes and see the words unwritten
god i dont care anymore
i love america because i can say i hate america without being unamerican (at least my definition of unamerican)
DISSENT IS GREAT
but it is nothing without PROGRESS
PROGRESS IS EVERYTHING
my eyes are going to fall out
what was i talking about
i cant remember of its stream of conscious or conscience, pretty dumb
its not just the words on the page though




maybe ill delete this