How do I go about lowering my expectations? Please comment.

Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble.

All words ever uttered, all words ever written, mean nothing... I have this pretentious tone and obnoxious diction. I apologize to all. See, I don't want to piss people off.

In hindsight I regret putting this link in my info. I regret even telling people about it. But what the hell would have been the point if other people weren't going to read it? Then I might as well have started a personal journal. The problem is that I need the reinforcement (positive, negative or otherwise) from the 'readers' in order to keep blogging. All my previous journals have ended after a dozen or so entries. I guess that's because the cathartic powers of a journal quickly wear off. I assume the same thing will happen with this blog, but hopefully not.

I have a plan to make sure the cathartic powers of notsonovel do not wear off too quickly. You see, I have this fear of pissing people off. I don't know if fear is the right word, but it's what came to mind. This 'fear' is why I regret telling people about this site, because there is a lot of crap I want to say that could anger some people. So here is the plan: I am going to try and conquer the fear of pissing people off. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to pull it off, but it will work.

If I do pull off my plan there are a variety of benefits. 1) I could actually become a person who doesn't care about what people think of him/her (not at all likely, BUT I could get better at dealing with rejection and betrayal and other such things); 2) I could actually piss people off (this would be fucking great. I feel that no one's life is changed because of my actions, and it's time to change that.); 3) People piss me off a lot so I might as well piss them off too; 4) hopefully people will give me feedback and serve my relentless need for attention; 5) If #4 occurs then I will have reason to continue blogging... more on this later

Surely you jest.

I can't remember the last time someone imed, emailed me without being prompted. Oh well. At least there is an ocean where I can swim my problems away. (I know...this is ridiculously mellow-dramatic.)

I have got that 'really down on life, down on myself, feeling used, feeling like the universe's punching bag' sorta feeling. If I go surfing/running hopefully that feeling will go away for just long enough for me to look at the sun glistening on the water and remember why life is great.

"The soft bigotry of low expectations." Absolute genius! You have go to give him credit for his gusto. If I were a swing voter I would most definitely be voting for W. I mean Kerry (Captain LongFace) responds to W's acceptance speech with this 30 minute bore-fest that could put a speed-addict to sleep. And Cpt. Long Face doesn't even pretend to answer some of the charges that W raised... To Kerry and any who support him: YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE!!! AND ITS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!!!!!

The dems could have easily won this election about a year ago... At the very least Mr.Bush tremendously overstated the evidence against Hussein. At the very least Mr.Bush mired the nation in an over-zealous foreign policy. Without Mr.Bush's war 700 American soldiers would be drinking Miller High Life watching NASCAR right now. You, or someone you know, is unemployed (or under-employed) because Mr.Bush's recovery plan *cough* is directed at increasing the investing and fortunes for America's elite-class.

Does anyone mention any of that? Maybe, but not really. They say stuff like, "The president lied in bringing our nation to war." They say that because pols really like the word 'lied'. Especially when it is the incumbent who is 'lying'. Well, trouble is, he didn't really lie. No one in the whole of the Administration lied, well at least not directly. There were lots of half-truths and false assumptions, but those don't really count as lies. Furthermore, accusing Mr.Bush of lying is just getting old. It's too en vogue in the dem party. The voters are tired of it. It sounds like an unfounded accusation. Kerry gets so caught up in the politics of war (abortion, gay marriage, the economy, and soc security too) that he forgets the American people agree with him and the dems about all of those things. No one wants big tax cuts for the super wealthy. Most people are pro-choice. Most people know we need social security reform. 80% of voters HATE war. Most people, despite popular belief, are not that stupid. And most people disagree with the Repubs on just about everything...

But Mr. Bush swaggers up to the podium and very convincingly says, "I won't tax you, I won't kill babies, I won't let your kids grow up gay, and I won't let terrorists escape." It's so simple. It's absolute genius. And Kerry is just no match for it. Cpt. Long Face thinks he has to out-think Bush. Well everone knows he can do that. Out-thinking him is not a problem. Kerry, if youre reading this, please stop with your long-winded speeches that try to emulate the Bush-style. Just shut up. Tell the people what you would do. You would give social security back to the workers. You would protect the Bill of Rights. You would save the impoverished by asking the super wealthy to do their part. You would protect America without attacking the entire world.

But he's not going to read my advice. He'll continue in his failed attempts to act like a strong leader. His better ideas will go unnoticed by the electorate. Oh well. 4 more years here we come!

What a dull background. Just looking at this site sorta makes me suicidal. I think someone's sister should help me out and 'spice' it up a bit. no?

My exponentially declining sanity has finally hit its bottom as indicated by creating a blog. Oh well. Ever since I quit my job I have been trying to find ways to avoid being on aim--I failed. I was hoping the percentage of my day spend staring at my buddy list, waiting for someone to im me, would decrease. School (well juco. i have a hard time calling it 'school' as it's basically a learning medium for single mom's and future stars of 'america's most wanted'. therefore, juco, mesa, and all community colleges everywhere will be referred to as "school".) failed miserably at lowering my online-time. So I have opted to just embrace my lack of life (well i don't really have friends, girlfriends, prospects, hobbies, ambitions either) by making a blog. I know--this is even worse than just sitting online. Now I will be on aim while constantly checking my site to see if anyone has commented. I really hate this online culture that always surrounds me. Yeah. Well for future readers: prepare your mind for an assualt of poor grammar, even worse spelling, tortuous arguments and ideas, and my appaling ability to be simulataneously cocky and insecure. Yeah it'll be fun.

If time is infinite and matter is finite then we are all doomed to repeat our mistakes. I guess we are also doomed to repeat our successes too.